


Friday Night Ruins

by MadameRee



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, College Student Peter Parker, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Wade Wilson is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:21:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22532392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameRee/pseuds/MadameRee
Summary: Fuck it. Honestly just fuck it. This wasn’t how his Friday night was supposed to go. He had it all planned out right to what he was going to wear and what he was going to eat, all plotted-down on a mental schedule. But of course, when anything goes wrong in his life, it’s always a result of one man. One man who barreled into his bathroom window, and unfortunately into his life, waving his unattached arm around while singing “Sexy Back”. A fiery ball of blood lust and chaotic energy. One man who was the cause of the most painful nights of his life, complete with a dislocated hip, concussion and an arm broken in three different places. One man wh-“Hey Webs! Stop thinking and say all your dirty thoughts out loud like a real spider! No White I know that didn’t make sense! No you don’t make sense!”~ ♛•♔ ~Cockroach men. Wade being an idiot. Sleep deprived Peter. Mexican food. What more could you need?
Relationships: Peter Parker & Wade Wilson, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 110





	Friday Night Ruins

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Madame Ree here! First time writing a fic tbh so pls go easy on me! I am aware this honestly isn't the greatest but, I just wanted to try it out.
> 
> my tumblr is madame-ree !

Fuck it. Honestly just fuck it. This wasn’t how his Friday night was supposed to go. He had it all planned out right to what he was going to wear and what he was going to eat, all plotted-down on a mental schedule. But of course, when anything goes wrong in his life, it’s always a result of one man. One man who barrelled into his bathroom window, and unfortunately into his life, waving his unattached arm around while singing “Sexy Back”. A fiery ball of bloodlust and chaotic energy. One man who was the cause of the most painful nights of his life, complete with a dislocated hip, concussion and an arm broken in three different places. One man wh-

“Hey Webs! Stop thinking and say all your dirty thoughts out loud like a real spider! No White I know that didn’t make sense! No you don’t make sense!” 

Peter sighed so deeply he felt his soul momentarily leave his body as he swung his way to Deadpool, Wade Winston Wilson himself. He somersaulted over a group of cockroach men that found their way out of their sewer home. Yeah, Peter didn’t want to think too deeply about them either. 

“POOL STOP!” screamed Peter at a sheepish looking Deadpool. “Stop pushing them onto their backs to see them roll around!” That was a sentence he never thought he would say. 

“But Webs!” whined Deadpool flailing his arms like a spoiled kid who had gotten their new toy taken away, his pout visible through his mask. How did he make it so expressive? 

“No! You can’t do that no matter how funny it is to see them roll around! Let’s just finish this so I can go home and sleep!” He punctuated each sentence with a punch to the oncoming slaught of cockroach men. He somersaulted through the air, webs flying in every direction as he webbed all the creature to the ground before coming to land gracefully on the warehouse wall. 

“No need to show off webhead,” muttered a dazed-looking Deadpool, his katanas out and dripping with crimson blood. “I didn’t even get to do the new move I’ve been working on! It includes ballet some breakdancing, lots of pyro and the grand finale! You’re really out here ruining my vibes Spidey, Yellow had the music all ready too! It was some hardcore Metallic- “

Peter quickly threw a web at Deadpool’s mouth, effectively shutting whatever he was going to say. He couldn’t help the burst of laughter that escaped his lips at the stunned look that passed his face. It would never get old. Apparently Deadpool didn’t seem to agree as he pulled the web away from his face, as if it had personally offended him, before rolling it up and whipping it at Peter. 

“Is that your way of saying that you don’t appreciate being webbed? And I’m still annoyed at you for ruining my Friday!” 

Wade cocked his head to the side, a finger coming up to his chin in a mock thinking pose, “No, no surprisingly I don’t think I do. What do you think guys? No White yes I do remember bondage being one of my kinks. No of course I’m not going to tell him that. Yes Yellow we still lo-”  
Peter couldn’t help the last web he threw at him, cutting off Wade’s sentence as he blackflipped out the window and swinging away. He continued to laugh as he swung, Wade’s creative muffled swearing in the background. 

~ * ♕ * ~

Peter was drowning. This was it. This was the day he, Peter Benjamin Parker, Spiderman, was going to die. He figured his last stand on Earth would be during a fight with his numerous enemies; Doc Oc or Venom or Electro. Of all things, he didn’t believe that Neurobiology was what was going to end him. He had been sitting on the floor in the middle of his modest, oh so very modest, apartment with all his notes and textbooks scattered around. He hadn’t eaten in so long and sleep? Oh God he can’t even remember. That doesn’t sound like a good thing but then again he doesn’t have his degree yet so maybe he’s wrong. Maybe the human body doesn’t need that much sleep, maybe it doesn’t need any sleep at all. Maybe the concept of sleep was just a social construct after all and that society and government has just been manip- 

“Jeez baby boy it’s like a tornado has flown through here! It’s even worse than that time we tried Thor’s Asgardian mead and I literally flew around here trying to see if I could go as fast as a Beyblade and why are you on the ceiling?”

Peter was indeed looking down at Wade as he clambered through the window holding bags and bags of delicious Mexican food. He’d been so caught up on his thoughts of a societal conspiracy, he completely didn’t notice Wade climbing up his fire escape and thus scaring him half to death and onto the ceiling. It wasn’t like his spider senses ever went off around the Merc anymore anyway. 

“Uh Petey?” Wade watched the lil spider sway from his position on the ceiling. He doesn’t even think Pete notices that he’s slipping until his fingers and feet completely give out. Wade’s moving even before he realizes, catching Peter before he hits the ground. 

“What?” Wow, Spidey sounds as dazed as he looks.

(Still looks hot as shit though)  
[Of course he does! It’s Petey-sweetie]  
(That was disgusting don’t even say that ever again)  
[Whatever. I didn’t even think we’d be in this fic]  
(That’s because the author doesn’t know what she’s doing and is using this as an excuse to not study for her many many many impending tests)

Wade let a grin cross his face as he listened to White and Yellow argue as he set Pete down gently on the sofa. He was slightly concerned with how the webhead had fallen, but he had known Peter for a while and his ridiculous habit of wearing himself down to his very bones till he passed out from exhaustion. For a brainy nerdy genius, he was dumb as fuck.

“Wade I think I’m gonna die, I still have so much work left to do. And don’t waltz in here thinking I’m gonna forgive you for ruining my Friday just because you brought me food,” Peter wailed like the dramatic child he is. He made grabby grabby hands at the bags of Mexican food that littered his coffee table. Wade rolled his eyes before giving him three.

“When was the last time you slept? You do need sleep, don’t you? I mean I’m not sure what regular enhanced people need. I haven’t needed to sleep every single night since that whole shit show that was Weapon X but, like maybe you do need sleep every night and it’s not a government manipulation scheme. Is sleep a social construct? I bet people on Asgard don’t sleep. Does Loki sleep? Does he dream of snakes and stabbing? I mean stabbing people really is like a dream come through, not that I do that anymore! Maybe.”

Peter let Wade’s babble wash over him like a blanket of comfort as he made his way through the many tacos and burritos Wade had bought. The food sat warm and full in his stomach as he relaxed into the sofa, the stress and panic easily seeping out of his tense body especially as Wade leaned in closer. A strong arm draped over his shoulders as he leaned into the warm body at his side. He continued to munch on his much needed food, occasionally offering his remarks on whatever story Wade has stumbled upon telling. 

Wade continued his nonsensical story as he slowly, slowly maneuvered Peter into a horizontal position, his head in his lap. He combed his fingers through Pete’s soft brown locks, pulling gently at the ends in a way he knew was relaxing for the arachnid. 

Peter let out a mewl of contentment as he slowly started fading into the wonderful, wondrous world of sleep. 

“You’re still gonna pay for ruining my Friday night Pool. Don’t think I’ve forgotten!”

Wade swore. He’s gonna have to accept his punishment like a real man. A full 24hours without uttering a single word. He could do that. Totally. Sure.


End file.
